Common Vandal - Homo sapiens subsp. stupidus
Also known as Yoofs, Bro, Hoodies

A sub species of Homo sapiens, they are rarely spotted during daylight hours, as most are nocturnal, preferring the dark to cover their activities. A genus of mostly similar habits to H. sapiens they have evolved a trait of destroying or defacing their habitat through boredom and lack of stimulation. Mostly a timid mammal, usually males ♂ although females ♀ are occasionally found, they will attempt to hide when confronted by the appearance of H. sapiens. However some can be aggressive, becoming violent when found in the act of performing, which is a condition called "vandalism". The effects of H. sapiens stupidus can be varied and far reaching, they are locally common throughout the planet, but in some localities they can be quite rare. Colouration of the species is many and very varied, and their feeding habits also vary markedly with some individuals being herbivores. Drinking habits are probably more habit or ritual based with many of the species preferring alcohol based fluids from containers that are then left in the area where they are performing, possibly as decoration for the "vandalism" ritual.

Several of the species have been found performing in Brickfields Park over the years, mostly the juvenile form before they become adult, tending to rip branches from trees. A small group was found late one evening having just finished a "performance" using paint to decorate rocks. A passive group, they were rounded up and taken to the local authorities for evaluation and released back into the wild a few hours later. The breeding habits of H. sapiens stupidus has not been verified, although the differing ratio of males ♂ to females ♀ cast doubt on the species viability, however there is some thought that the species can interbreed with H. sapiens forming regressive hybrids that reappear in later generations.

On the rare occasion that H. sapiens stupidus has been encountered during the day in the wild, and if you can get close enough without spooking this usually timid mammal it occasionally has been heard vocalising and one may elicit limited communication about it's lifestyle, other subjects can be touched on but are usually restricted to being "bored". Suggesting alternative forms of pastime or even (horror of horrors) WORK, elicits a shoulder shrug gesture, which has been taken to mean "I don't know" or "I don't care", occasionally accompanied with a guttural "F' off", which we assume is a universal phrase used to convey - abuse / no / yes / goodbye - and possibly several other meanings a yet not determined by modern linguists.

Up until recently no photographs of H. sapiens stupidus existed in our archive, but recently and quite fortunately we came across a small group of this nocturnal animal the park during the day. We managed to get a few grainy photos but they were easily spooked and soon disappeared into the undergrowth to hide.

Very easily spooked (above), our H. sapiens stupidus disappear very quickly into the undergrowth.
The aftermath of their rituals are usually only found a few days later, extensive "marking" of affected areas can occasionally be found.

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